What to Feel?

I don't know what to feel,

Cause I'm a little bit sad,

A little bit happy

And even kinda discouraged.

Emotions just walk all over

My heart and trample it.

Confused feelings

Whiz and whir all around.

This isn't about a young love,

Though so sweet and childish it may be.

No, this is just life.

I have a happy experience

But I'm not joyous?

I'm afraid I don't understand...

But one thing I do understand,

Is that I don't really need to worry.

It could all wither away

As flowers in the winter,

Such a brown dead thing

But yet elegant and precious all the same.

These feelings can whip me around

In the winds of the Lost

Or I could not let them.

It probably sounds really petty and simple

And kinda foolish.

It's not though, and it's so comforting.

As worries fall off me like my dad's suit jacket

{or was that when I was young?}

I turn to the Saviour.

I guess all the emotion has caught me

Empty handed, vulnerable and fragile.

Now that I bring God in,

You'll leave.

You liked the words about things

You can relate to,

But God doesn't relate to you right?

Just keep on scrolling I guess,

And what I do will be for naught.

It makes you uncomfortable

When I talk about He who loves me,

But why?

Just right now,

Here in my words with me

Could you try to see

This experience the way I do?

You don't have to believe,

Or even think much about it

But won't a moment be spared

To show you cared

Enough to read this for me?

Not even for me.

For you;

Meaning that God could touch you.

{woah, there He is again}

Don't run away

Please.

Now.

As the disarray of my thoughts rises,

I drop it

And pray to God that He would save me.

That He would save me from everything.

From the little things too

Helping me through

Each test, conversation with a friend,

Bike ride to the store

And so much more.

He'll answer if I wait for Him.

So won't you wait for Him too?

Can't the voices inside our heads

Be governed by something other

Than sinful lust and naked emotions?

God can cleanse you

If you really want Him to.